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Thanks to a little heads-up over at Six Until Me (*waves to the adorable and quite pregnant Kerri*), I thought you fine folks might be interested in attending this webinar, hosted by WEGO Health:

Chronic Illness and Relationships, hosted by AADE’s 2008-2009 educator of the year, Janis Roszler!

It’s happening from 8pm to 9pm EST on Wednesday, February 24th.  That’s tomorrow.  Or most likely hours from now as you’re reading this.  Please support this great topic, and tell me all about what you learned from attending!

Also, remember, I’m still looking for your stories of dating woe and happiness, weird diabetic date moments, and candid accounts of sexy stuff.  I’m always looking for words from you guys, so send them already!  Remember, it always feels good to talk it out.

From a comment on a previous post, Rainbow shows us what you probably don’t want in a partner when you have diabetes, especially Type 1, when the biggest part of your day is spent balancing what you eat with your insulin.  Do you have a Food Police Officer in your love life?  Would you like to revoke their badge?  I know I would!

xoxo,

Mistress D.

*****

Rainbow says:

My ex-girlfriend loved to play “food police.” Not only would she lecture me over every little thing I ate, but she would go online to all the forums she subscribed to and report everything I ate: “Rainbow ate an ENTIRE ice cream cone!” or “Rainbow ate a piece of CAKE!” and “Rainbow is such a bad diabetic! She’s gonna DIE!”

Then she decided that she herself had to lose weight, and since I was a diabetic (a very thin one, but still a diabetic) she decided that I had to lose weight too. Her idea to lose weight was “not eat anything after four o’clock in the afternoon.” And if I was spending the weekend at her place, that meant that I wasn’t supposed to eat anything after that time either. When I refused to follow that “diet” plan, she would exile me to a corner of the kitchen where she couldn’t see me, and I had to eat in hiding so that she wouldn’t be tempted.

Needless to say, that relationship did not last long.

Hello beautiful readers, it’s your Editrix here.  What better way to celebrate the week leading up to Valentine’s Day than with a whole slew of postings?  Hopefully they will inspire you to submit your own stories of love, dating, sex and romance with a side of diabetes.  Today’s story comes from the talented and titillating Casey of Pumping Through Life!  That’s right, sweeties, Casey was brave enough to put her real name out there for you guys.  Kudos for honesty, Casey!

I don’t know about you, but I am in agreement with her perspective.  Having a pump has never affected my sex life negatively.  I’d like to remind everyone out there that the sexiest thing in the world is being healthy and being there for your partner.  Enjoy Casey’s story!

xoxo,

Mistress D

****

Thinking about our sex life makes me smile and blush. My husband is the most amazing man. If I told you the details, which I won’t, they would mean nothing to you. You can’t feel the emotion behind the details I that I feel.

Before I got my purple pump, our love making was wonderful. If anyone ever saw us, there would be no hint of Diabetes.

I won’t lie. There is one, only one, time when my blood sugar dropped low while we were intimate. I remember being embarrased and not even telling him. I learned to check before we would start. It was just part of our routine, just like putting a condom on. You might grimace a bit, but you know these actions are worth it to be able to not worry while focusing intently on your spouses body, movement, heart, and mind. As our marriage has grown, I have learned a lot about being a wife, about being part of a loving team. I don’t hide the lows anymore.

When I discussed the pump with my husband, I asked him if he would still be attracted to me with a visible reminder of Diabetes. This was a hard discussion for me to initiate. But it was needed. He shared his questions and thoughts. I was reminded that he actually does love me. He is an amazing man. I am a very lucky woman.

Now that I have my purple pump, our love making is wonderful. If anyone ever saw us, the focus wouldn’t be on my infusion site.

I still check my glucose and now I follow that up with a quick disconnect. The infusion site is still there. But it hasn’t gotten in the way once. I enjoy the disconnected time, but not because I am disconnected. I enjoy the time because I get to choose to be connected to my husband. We get to take our emotional loving connection and make it physical. No piece of plastic could interfere with that.

When I think about my memories of our love making, I think about the smell of the room, the heat from our bodies, the sounds of our movement, the rapid heart beats, the excited smiles, the whispered words and the love that takes a physical form.

The fact that it took me an extra minute or two to check my glucose and disconnect, is forgotten as soon as it is done. Forgotten along with the other details like kicking the cat out of the area and unwrapping the condom. All are necessary and may delay us by a little bit. But each of those actions make the love making better, safer, and possible. I haven’t forgotten once to reconnect. The pump is where I left it and can just reach over to grab it. I can stay in his arms or come right back to them.

Hello, readers!  I found this link via Diabetes Mine, and the story is from A Sweet Life, which are both fantastic diabetes resources.  I recommend you read them both often!

“Tethered to the Body” by Jane Kokernak is what I find to be a rather frank look at one person’s perspective of sex with an insulin pump.  Quite honestly, it is not my approach to sex with an insulin pump, and I was most affected by how engaged I was by a viewpoint so much different from my own.  If you didn’t click the first link in this paragraph, make sure you click this one here to go read the full article.

Now a bit of commentary if you’ve already read the article…

This line nearly broke me in half:

“I will never become the sexual self that the youthful me once imagined: whole, extraordinary, and seductively bare. That is a loss.”

Perhaps I am a different breed of woman, a different kind of person with diabetes.  I’ve had an insulin pump for many years now.  In fact, I have never known sex without an insulin pump.  I do not feel a burden when I detach for intimacy.  I’ve never felt that it stifles my sexual interests or creativity any more than other momentary diversions–leg cramps, difficult bra clasps, opening of condom wrappers.  Maybe detaching my tubing has become some weird form of foreplay for me!

Sure, there are moments where NOT having a pump would make sex easier, but I am perfectly happy and not terribly bittersweet to have my little plastic pancreas there with me.  A healthier me is a sexier me, right?  That’s how I see it.  Everyone with diabetes is different.  We all have vastly differing thoughts and feelings, even in shared experiences.  Please take a moment to consider sharing some of your thoughts and experiences by submitting a story to Sweet & Sexy today.  Use the info up top to submit…it’s easy.

xoxo,

Mistress D.

After an unintentional self-imposed hiatus, aka the holidays, we’re back!

Was your holiday season a whirlwind rush of activity?  Mine certainly was, between family, friends, those I love…whew, it’s a wonder I’m still kicking after all of that, let alone back to blogging, working, and the routine of non-holiday time.

Remember that we still need your submissions.  I received a few before the holiday that are going to be published very soon.  I determined how to schedule my blog postings, so this is going to get a lot easier, I hope.

kisses,

Mistress D

Some people out there actually like it when people beg, so here I go.

Please please please submit some stories, story ideas, blog posts, anecdotes, WHATEVER.

I think this blog will be dull and definitely not community-minded without some submissions.  Remember, submissions can be entirely anonymous!  It’s as easy as making up a name for yourself or entering some initial or just writing “anonymous”.

Tell us about a good diabetes dating experience.  Tell us about a complete trainwreck.  Tell us your dreams, your fears, your hopes.  Tell us about when fights in your relationship become fights over diabetes.  Anything goes, really.

Check those little tabs at the top of the page there and start submitting already!

all the love in the d-blog world,

Mistress D.

I’m not talking about diabetes today when I refer to “illness”.  I’m speaking simply of whatever is going around, because I’ve come down with it.  Sniffling, coughing, sneezing fits.  It’s all here.  I am confident that it’s not the flu, but if I start feeling any worse, I’ll head out to my doctor’s office.

Due to this, I refuse to write a real post today.  Instead, I encourage you guys to submit your work!  If you’re looking for a little inspiration, here are some suggestions:

When did you tell your new partner about your diabetes, and how did they react?

If you and your partner were together before diabetes, what was their reaction?

Do you have trouble finding people to date because of your diabetes?

Actually, another great thing you can to do to keep this blog going is to use the same anonymous submission form up there and tell me about what you want to see regarding diabetes, love, sex, dating, and relationships.  Do you want an advice column?  Do you just want to read personal stories?  And what about?  What have you always wanted to know but have been afraid to ask?

Your input is vital…we want you to keep coming back for more, so what would you like from us?

thank you (*sneezing fit*),

Mistress D.